Growing Up

Sharing special moments in my life.

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Location: Chandler, Arizona, United States

As I cast my fishing line into the neighbor's yard, I'm reminded of my sixth grade math teacher's observation - He's just as happy as if he had good sense.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Things That Go Bump In the Night

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October 10, 2007

It's Mid-October again and officially Winter in the desert. The daily highs are above 90, nights are in the 60's and the sun is a milder, more welcome companion as it hangs lower in the southern sky.

As with each change of our two Seasons (April and October), insects migrate into our homes. In April, ants appear. In October, it's scorpions.

You never see scorpions enter the house and probably never will. They lay on top of doorframes or underneath the doorsill, just out of sight and waiting for prey. When the door opens, they crawl in. We don't see them, but they're there - waiting.

In my house, they enter through the laundry room door on the way to the garage or the back door. In the last three weeks, we've found two scorpions within the compound. I know they're others inside the house, but I'm not interested in finding them. They can fight over territory with the spiders... and those spiders are big.

I encountered the first scorpion three weeks ago at 5:00 AM as I walked to the kitchen for a self-promised cup of "bright and early". I had just opened the wide double doors to my bedroom and was heading to coffee land when I looked down at the brown dust bunny in the unlit alcove. It wasn't there last night, so I stared at it, trying to distinguish its features from the alcove's shadows.

As I stared, the small stationary object in the corner moved from its fixed position. How odd, I thought. Why would it do that?

With the curiosity and incognizance of a dazed rat terrier wearing bifocals, I bent down for a closer look. When I was within two feet of the brown dust bunny, it moved again.

There was a civility as to how he coiled his stinger, as if saying, "Hey, go get your coffee. I'll still be here when you get back." Inviting as a cup of "Hello, my Darling" would be, I couldn't take that chance. Within a few minutes, K, my daughter, would be heading to the kitchen for breakfast and… she's not a morning person and… she really doesn't like scorpions. Not… a… bit.

So, as quickly as I could, I captured and contained the two-inch long scorpion in a plastic paint tray. As I was heading to the laundry room door and out to the front yard for disposal, K walked into the kitchen. She was curious and half-asleep, just as I had been five minutes before and asked me about the painter's tray. Being a good father, I showed her what was in it.

The second scorpion was only an inch long, hardly anything to be upset about, but K thought differently about the experience. She was in her study looking for a book in a storage bin beneath her desk and noticed a small brown object on a piece of paper. We hadn't vacuumed the house in two weeks, so she thought it was the dark brown skin from a roasted peanut shell. We eat them almost every night as snack food. With disgust, she plucked the dark brown object from the paper and was prepared to put it in the nearby trashcan….. when it moved.

I was watching TV in the great room, with all of the windows open, when a young woman's scream penetrated my soul. Then she screamed again, only louder.

When I reached her, she no longer needed my help and was in the midst of capturing the scorpion. With me on the scene, she gladly let me wrangle the scorpion outside to freedom.

When I returned, she asked me why I never killed scorpions. It's for the same reason I don't kill spiders or rattlesnakes. A spider is a land shark and will eat every insect in your house, so long as you give it a corner to live in. Rattlesnakes eats mice, and won't harm you, so long as you stay away from them and they'll warn you if you come too close.

With cold nights fast approaching, the scorpion only wants to live a little longer and the warmth of my house extends its life. Yet, I can't have it living in my house, even though it eats more insects than the spiders.

Scorpions have a nasty habit of climbing walls and walking unsuccessfully across ceilings. When they fall to the floor, they quickly right themselves and coil their stinger, ready to strike at the next thing that moves.

And that would be me. Asleep. In my bed. Without covers. Or clothes.


Happy Halloween!

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Man of a Different Color

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Thursday, October 19, 2007


Before I left for my fishing trip in June, I took on new responsibilities at work. The pay is the same and the problems are larger, but the Blackberry is newer.

Last week, I solved a database problem that had growled at us for over five years. The person who couldn't solve it finally moved on and gave it to me. For the last two months, I worked on it over lunch and on the weekends, and as of last Tuesday, it growled no more.

I was expecting a small bonus for my endeavors, as I've received in the past, but nothing came of my work - except the end of the problem. I didn't appreciate that last part until this past Monday, when I noticed a recognition award on my Wall of Me at work.

I was at my desk, stumped by a design problem and seeking salvation and an answer in a banana and Dr. Pepper break, when I looked up from my papers and saw the cards that K has given me over the years for Father's Day and Christmas. Behind them on the cubicle wall were the Renoir and O'Keefe prints. To the left of them were the photos of my brother and his wife, Mom and Dad, K and one of me taken five years ago when I was fiercely muscular.

Between the photos of K and my parents was a faded recognition award I had push-pinned at an angle into the wall. It was a blue index card given to me eight years ago by Jeff, a client from Marketing. On it, he had written, "For being a Yellow in a Blue World".

It referred to a team-building exercise and questionnaire that ninety fellow departmental employees took when our new manager assumed his position. He didn't know us, and the questionnaire gave him a quick read on our decision-making style. Mine was Yellow (a free thinker, no rules) with heavy Blue tendencies (analytical and logical).

At the end of the exercise, we took a group photo and lined up according to the dominant color tag affixed to our chest. Our manager was first and set the color wheel. He was a Blue with Green tendencies, thus making him good manager material. As we formed a large U on the sixth floor portico, I noticed everyone in the group was Blue or Green except me. I was dead last out of ninety people and my new boss and I thought nothing alike. Within a week, I received my complimentary 11 x 14 group photo confirming that fact.

Jeff came by a few days later and noticed the photo laying on my in-basket. I told him how it rankled me. He picked it up, stared at it a few seconds and put it back down. "You're looking at it the wrong way. It's a Bell Curve and you're all geeks." He smiled, and then shrugged his shoulder, "You hafta be a Yellow and take chances and he has to be a Blue and follow the rules." Jeff was right.

The next day, I found a card on my desk. It read, "Take Risks!! It takes courage to take chances..." Inside was the recognition award and two movie tickets.

Jeff took a risk six years ago and followed his dreams to a small mountain town in Oregon with his wife. There, they enjoy the outdoors as they've always imagined.

And I'm here in Arizona. A happy Yellow who looks at life a little bit differently than others.

A man of a different color.

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