The Difference Between Men And Women

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I'm smiling as I write this. Women are far more advanced in discussing relationships than men could ever imagine. It's accepted (and expected) for a woman to share "things" about her relationship. I didn't understand what women really discussed until I took a few dance classes in college.

Before you go thinking things, I had five years of martial arts under my belt and was tired of learning how to kill people. Besides, being in a room full of women in leotards sounded "fun". I took a lotta razzing from my dojo brothers, but it was worth it. Anyway, I dated a few women in those classes and the sisterhood allowed me to listen in on the dirt.

Every day before class, the ladies reviewed their boyfriends, classmates (even some of my buddies!), hunks, hubbies, husband material, toys, maneuvers, kissing, romance, break-ups, cads, the allure of bad boys and other stuff. It was too much information and all of it was true. I just wanted to melt into the wooden floor whenever they looked in my direction, but they never reviewed me. They didn't have to. I did that myself. I cringed at some of the stories. Yeah, that's me to a "T".

I changed my ways and the group recognized my improved "dating" behavior. I was no longer a male buffoon, but a man sharing time with women in their environment.

I listened to them share their every day lives and their true relationships. I never knew women thought and felt that way. Every day was new to me. They were so different from men, yet they helped me become a better man. They taught me that listening is the best answer to a question, a kiss is a kiss is a kiss, a hug is sometimes better than talking and a good cry solves just about everything.

I recently started dating a very nice lady. I'm not mentioning names, but Hi, Cathy! *grin* Since Cathy is becoming more important in my life, I'm starting to talk about her with certain co-workers. The reaction from two co-workers brought to mind those noble ladies of the boards and their effect on my life.

Both co-workers are middle-aged and married. I'm middle-aged and divorced. (Thought I'd help you out there.) The guy reacted in typical guy fashion or what I would've done before the noble ladies. The woman reacted as I would've reacted. Yeah, education of the heart is hell, isn't it?


My statement: I smile and say, "I'm dating a nice lady".

Male reaction. "You deserve someone nice". Click. (Jeez, I thought I had the remote control.)


Once again, my statement with same intonation: I smile and say, "I'm dating a nice lady".

Female reaction. She searches my face for emotion and finds what she's looking for.


With a smile, she gets closer, "And?"

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I Love This Poem - "To Risk"

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Dear K,

I found it many years ago in some bookstore. There's always been a copy of it in my drawer at work. From time to time, I'll look at it, smile and adjust my sails.

Love, dad



"To Risk"

by William Arthur Ward


To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;


And the realist adjusts the sails.

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